I am a nice guy. Wikipedia says that a nice guy believes in putting the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, and generally acts nicely towards [other people]. I believe that nice guys do exist, that I am one. Yes, I'm going to be an asshole from time to time, but I'll usually be the first to admit it.

I also feel like I fail at everything, though multiple therapists have told me I have actually achieved a lot in life, and that I should not feel like I'm behind my peers in any way. I didn't believe them then, and do not believe them now. This is where I dip my toe into the dreaded Nice Guy, which I don't fucking buy, or fall into at all. Yeah, I fail at life and relationships, but that's my fault, not because of some myth about nice guys finishing last, or women preferring bad guys.

This was the blog that I kept while I was a youth pastor. Now a lot of stuff is very different, in my li
fe and in the world, and anyone who knows that about me, knows I'm very different. But I did like the style that I employed to write about my experiences. I also really like the style that Kate Zambrano uses to talk about her life; all the insecurities, faults, flaws, and the lovely thing that these sum in a world where everything is a performance. This will be a nice guy confessional blog.

So what is different? Why am I someone to read? What kind of posts will be here? Why am I writing things?

• You might know me, or just want to know more about me, in that case, welcome new/old friend(s)
• I'm a teacher. I teach composition at a small community college in the Southwest during the school year and I teach book arts to youth-age people during the summer at a craft college in the Northwest
I love making, writing, traveling, and reading, so there will be posts about these things: things made, written, traveled, read, by others and myself.
And lastly, I hope to get somewhere, that I end up in a different place than I am right now, that people reading will see a story, a narrative of failure, seeing me at the true bottom even though I feel like I can't get any lower, or a narrative of something good and progressing and changing and surprising to you and to me.